Boxing Day

Boxing Day is December 26, the day after Christmas, and is celebrated in Great Britain and in most areas settled by the English (the U.S. is the major exception), including Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. The Feast of St. Stephen also takes place on December 26. St. Stephen was one of the seven original deacons of the Christian Church who were ordained by the Apostles to care for widows and the poor. For the success of his preaching and his devotion to Christ, St. Stephen was stoned to death by a mob. As he died, he begged God not to punish his killers. Can we not all just love each other, celebrating our individualism, and giving back to those in need. We need a voluntary re-distribution of wealth much like the communal potlatch. Pay it forward. Tip your waiter and waitress. Smile at your neighbors. Hold the door for strangers. You will get yours when you least expect it. Boxing Day is not a sport but a celebration of giving back. Thanking those who have helped you succeed.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

WE ALL BEGIN OUR LIVES AS NEWBORNS WITH A CRY AND A SCREAM AND PLENTY OF TEARS. SINCE THEN, MY LIFE HAS BEEN A SERIES OF TEARS. TEARS OF JOY AND TEARS OF DISAPPOINTMENT. YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME TREMENDOUS JOY AND MELTED AWAY MY DISAPPOINTMENTS. YOU HAVE BEEN A WONDERFUL MOTHER AND ADULT FOR BILLY & MATT. YOU ARE A LOVING WIFE AND LIFE PARTNER. YOU A VERY PATIENT AND KIND TO ME EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS DIFFICULT. YOU HAVE GIVEN ME HOPE, PEACE AND TEARS OF JOY. SOON WE WILL CELEBRATE, WITH TEARS OF JOY, THE GRADUATION FROM HIGH SCHOOL OF BILLY & MATT . NEXT YEAR, BETWEEN FEBRUARY AND NOVEMBER, WE WILL EMBARK UPON A JOURNEY TOGETHER THAT WILL DRAMATICALLY CHANGE OUR LIVES WHILE BRINGING US TEARS OF JOY AS WE CREATE A NEW LIFE. THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH, THE EMBODIMENT OF OUR LOVE. WE WILL BRING INTO OUR WORLD A CHILD THAT WILL BEGIN LIFE AS A NEWBORN WITH A CRY AND A SCREAM AND PLENTY OF TEARS. OUR TEARS WILL FOREVER BE CONNECTED. YOU NOW WEAR OUR COLLECTIVE TEARS OF JOY AROUND YOUR NECK. A SIGN OF OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER. HOLDING US ALL CLOSE TO YOUR HEART.

Christmas Wishes

This Christmas is very special for us as we shepherd Billy and Matt from high school to college. Emancipation from their mother and liberation towards adulthood. Technically, we are now "empty nesters" however Billy and Matt only "nested" with us a few days a month. A very sad fourteen years of isolation for the boys at the hands of their mother. Darci and I will miss out two babies and we welcome our new baby to our family with the assistance of an egg donor and a surrogate. The egg donor and I have created eight embryos (one girl and seven boys). We are poised for the surrogate to be carrying our baby girl in late February 2013. With God's help, we will be parents to a healthy baby girl no later than November 2013. Happy Thanksgiving. We are truly blessed and the transition for the boys to men and the creation of a baby girl completes the cycle and enriches all of our lives. Merry Christmas !!

Seeing the light

The journey has been long, painful at times, and full of self doubt. Did I make the right choice. Did I truly save myself and save my children by leaving an abusive marriage ? It has now been 14 years since I left and the boys are now 18 years old. The lies that they have been told of me, by their mother, are unforgivable and manipulative. I love Billy and Matt with my entire being. I know that they know the truth and the truth will always prevail. I pray everyday for their safety and good health. I never left their hearts. God bless us all. Maybe there’s a God above But all I’ve ever learned from love Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you It’s not a cry you can hear at night It’s not somebody who has seen the light It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen

DAY ONE

DAY ONE - SATURDAY 22 DECEMBER 2012 (NEW MAYAN CALENDAR) Ceremonial fires burned and conches sounded off as dawn broke over the steps of the main pyramid at the Mayan ruins of Chichen Itza Friday, making what many believe is the conclusion of a vast, 5,125-year cycle in the Mayan calendar. Some have interpreted the prophetic moment as the end of the world. I awoke this morning to the beautiful sunrise over the frigid Chicago skyline. We are alive !!!! We have survived another predicted "end of the world". Now we are facing another end of the year. New Year's Resolutions for us to promise ourselves and our loved ones only to struggle with keeping our lofty promises. This year, I am simply going to promise to love myself and to love my family.

The Path of Art

What are we looking at and why are we looking ? Is it Art or is it not Art ? The more we look at art, experience art, ask questions of the art, we will emerge from the process less hostile towards art. Not all "art" is worthy of reflection but rather a passing glance or nod. We will all learn to be our best art critic and connoisseur. As life is a journey so too is the path of Art. I love to collect art. I love to lecture about Art. I love to surround myself with Art and the creative process. A life without Art (and music and the finer things in life) is a life not worth living.

Mads Men

You are my Mads' Men. You are beautiful young men with angelic voices and the penache to combine your love for music, singing, performing and sports. You had me at the piano. I cannot talk about you two without getting choked up with pride and a father's joy explaining your immense talents. You amaze me every day beginning with the day you two were boy. Identical yet always unique. Ying and Yang. Best friends and better competitors. You have given me a window into my own life. I have been re-born and blessed countless times by you two being in my life. You make me appreciate life. You have made me a better man, a better father and a better husband. Life is a journey, filled with detours and defeats, but never lose sight of the paths you were meant to blaze for yourselves. Follow your hearts, trust your gut and embrace the wisdom of your father. I love you with my entire being.

The Cy Twombly Floor

The Cy Twombly Floor, with Maori or Oceanic accents, that you created is magnificent. The application was so whimsical and your creative joy comes through in the final results. Stunning and original. Daring yet confident. Freehand yet exacting. I love the art, in our private collection, that hangs in our home. I love the artistic remodeling of our house, from room to room, including your keen eyes for design and originality that is apparent to me and all of our visitors. You create and I admire. Daily.

I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus

I think she looks beautiful in a white beard and a Santa hat standing next to her new bathroom and fabulous custom doors for the kitchen. Merry Christmas to both of us for the additions and improvements. She has a wonderful sense of design and we collaborate so well together that our home continues to improve and become "our" home year by year. We have been mostly "nice" and maybe a little "naughty" but hey, between lovers who is not a little naughty especially when she dresses up as that guy from the North Pole. Merry Christmas.

Twas the Fortnight Before Christmas

Twas the fortnight before Christmas, when all through the Architrouve Not a creature was stirring, not even the twins were here. It has been fourteen years, and counting, since Billy and Matt Have slept at our home on Christmas Eve and awoken with us on Christmas Morning. We continue to hope and pray that one year, soon, they will be with us. I have always loved Christmas and the joys that surround this family holiday. We have been extremely blessed as a family. We have a good family business. We have a healthy family with healthy friends. Darci has recovered from her two surgeries related to BCRA and her courage Inspires all of us. She is my partner, wife, best friend and gift from God. Even though we four will not physically be together this Christmas. We will be with each other in spirit and thought. God bless you, Darci, Billy and Matt.

Cherish the Obvious

I have watched with fear and joy the development of my boys and their relationship with my wife, Darci. Darci has been a solid stepmother (a term I hate)for more than three quarters of their lives. She has accepted her role (term) with love and compassion for these two young men. She has endured their aloofness, shyness and quietness. We have together built, for the boys, a safe and loving home, a family for the four of us. Billy and Matt have spent less than ten (10%) percent of their lives involved in our lives but we treasure every morsel of their involvement. We wring out every last moment to cherish forever. We know we are having a wonderful impact on them but at times we often wonder if we are getting through to them. "The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible." - Oscar Wilde

Dendroidal

Dendrochronology is a fun word to say and I can use it because I can spell "it". My father had a rule when I was a child that you could not use words that you could not spell. I learned to love to study the dictionary so I could impress my father with my growing vocabulary and spelling bee abilities. Volcanology (also spelled vulcanology) is the study of volcanoes not the study of Vulcans for fans of the original Star Trek series. During my graduate studies for my Master's Degree in Art History, I was able to study dendrochronology and vulcanology (my preferred spelling)as it related to the indigenous cultures of North American and specifically in the Four Corners area of the Southwest. Sprinkle (toss or heave) my ashes into the volcanic sinks of Wupatki National Monument from the top of the Citadel surrounded by the San Francisco Peaks with 360 degree views of Antelope Valley. Breathtaking and soul searching. Nirvana.

"O" is for Oculus

The oculus is a round or eyelike opening. The central boss of a volute. The "O" is for eye. "O" is meant to see, to comprehend, to be the focal point. It is easy to perceive or be perceived. What one sees may not always be what other's see. How we wish to be perceived or received is a matter of our presentation and our ability to be seen. Once you become the center of attention, it becomes difficult to always remain in a good light. Perception can become clouded while deception can blur the vision. How I see myself is the best way to ensure that my projection of same is true and correct. Everything else is just noise.

Hats for You

I love your custom beaver hats. We share our love for all things beautiful. Your beauty is enhanced by the Optimo hats that we have collected for you. Summer and winter we have your head covered.

Love What You Do

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle." - Steve Jobs' Stanford Commencement Address (2005)

Giving Thanks

There are always many things to be thankful for each year, good health, stable finances, close friends and a loving family. However, this past year has been a year filled with blessings and enlightenment. Darci has recovered from her two BCRA surgeries and I have continued my weight loss journey (40 pounds last year). This year we have decided to become parents with the help of an egg donor and a surrogate. The process has been intense, mind boggling as well as joyous. Darci and I are thrilled to have a child in 2013. Darci is the love of my life and I can think of no better way to express our love for each other than to be parents together. We have also created a new business and new opportunities to solidify our financial future. We are a tremendous team and I adore and admire my beautiful wife. I am so very thankful on this special Thanksgiving.

Toeing the Line

Life is always defined by boundaries. Personal boundaries and legal boundaries. Boundaries need to be respected and boundaries need to be maintained. My on-going personal growth has enabled me to fortify my personal boundaries and remove those toxic people hanging on in my life. I have strategically placed the toxicity outside of my walled boundaries. Shoring up my personal boundaries has been the best investment in my life. Toeing the line makes me healthier and much happier.

Through The Looking Glass

When I see you with your mother, I see a special bond. A special relationship. A mutual respect and admiration for each other. You two are a gift for each other. A Ying to the other Yang. Mother and Daughter. Sisters in life. Your journeys are courageous. Your discoveries are shared. Two lives lived in the best interest of the other. Love personified. Love admired. Love to be appreciated.

Super Smart, Super Sexy & All Dococo

I love to travel with you, my favorite designer. Whether walking the streets of Florence or Rome, you are iconic for me. Your confidence, your style, your balance and your boots !! You inspire me when you are simply you.

You Always Have Me

You quite simply amaze me with your beauty, your wit, your love. I love to stare at you without being caught for staring. I find myself falling into you. I do not fear falling because I always know that you will catch me. You give me the daily confidence to walk the high wire and put myself on the front line. I am successful because you make me successful. We are successful together. Together our success will continue.

Eye Can See Clearly, Now

"My Dad had a great expression. He always says, tell me a fact and I'll learn. Tell me the truth and I believe. But tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever." - Steve Sabol (1942 - 2012), NFL Films

Always Traveling, Always Missing You

You are always on my mind. My daily thoughts are of you. You are my lifeline, my hope, my rock, my love. Thoughts of "Olivia" or "Quinn" meander and flutter in the clutter of my mind. The three of us excites me. In my mind, we are always together and always smiling. I adore you and miss your ponytail and the beauty of your body.

Tell Me a Story

"To those who believe, no explanation is necessary. To those who don't, no explanation is possible. - George Kresge ("The Amazing Kreskin")

When Losses Hurt the Most

When The Great Scorer comes to mark against your name, He will not write whether or not you won but how you played the game. I will always admire Billy's commitment to his friends and football. Despite his coach who penalized him for not "being in the program for four years", Billy went to every practice and wandered every sideline to inspire his friends, his teammates and his father.

Pooh and Roo, You Two

You two have so much to learn.
So much you two need to know.
The world awaits your blossom.
We await your awakening.

The Tao of Pooh is you two.
Pooh and Roo wandering through life.
Too unfocused to focus on the world
Around you two you will too see
The world awaits you and you do not
Even see the potential you have.

I have faith in you two as I do have
Faith in myself and your inheritance.
Faith can move mountains.
Mountains must be seen as challenges.
Open your mind, focus away from you two.

Embrace the world we live in so you two
Will grow into amazing men and sons.
You two will better understand me too.

A Dollar for Your Thoughts

I love to photograph you.
You are so beautiful.
You are so patient and so kind.
Every day I admire you.

A dollar for your thoughts
As a penny is never enough.

Fragile

Life is fragile.
Here today, gone tomorrow.
What will my legacy be ?
How will I be remembered ?
Will I be missed ?
What will I become in another life ?

I have felt fragile most of my life.

Not to sound obsessive but what the hell.
Life has been difficult and rewarding at the same time.
Challenges that I have tried to handle head on.
My greatest periods of enlightenment have come
When I have fallen to the bottom.

I have fallen so many times that it is not the fall I fear.

I remember the exact moment that I hit "rock" bottom.
I actually felt relief. The sensation of falling had stopped.
Imagining that I was on my back in a dark cavern staring up
At a faint light, I felt hope not fear. Fragile not destroyed.

Fear can be paralyzing and fear be be motivating.

I knew that I had two choices.
Laying there in fear or get up and start crawling to the light.
I learned so much about myself when I started moving forward.
I continue to move forward, one day at a time.

The Holy See

Living in the Vatican was a surreal experience.
One person to a room yet a room with a view.
Former altar boy working within the Vatican walls.
Current art expert organizing an exhibition at the Vatican.

Tickle You, Tickle Me

I have always loved to tickle you.
To hear you laugh.
To hear you cry, "stop".
But when you tickle me,
I always feel the love returned.

Happy Birthday, Darci

I love to celebrate birthdays.
Next to my birthday, Darci's birthday is a favorite.
October 7th is another special pair of birthdays.

Darci's birthday makes me reflect on how special our love is and continues to be
Being Darci's husband is a marvelous opportunity to love and be loved.
We appreciate each other more than words can say.

We are both Aries and according to the "stars", we should not be compatible.
However, we are more than compatible, we are best friends and partners.
We celebrate our relationship, enjoy life and live with love in our hearts.

Happy Birthday, my beautiful wife, my best friend and my true love.

No Access

No Access. No Entry. No Way.
Personal Space and Boundaries.
I have struggled my entire life
with creating and defining
my sacred boundaries.

No Access without Permission.
No Means No.
Keep out people
who are not worthy.
Insulate and Protect.

I want to teach my children
to respect boundaries as well as
to create their own boundaries.
To thy own self be true.
Make the choice to protect.

Watching Over You

When you had your second BRCA surgery I was scared.
Scared because I cannot ever image my life without you.
Surgery is scary and hospitals are filled with pain as well as hope.
I pray every day but during your surgery, I prayed for hours.
I prayed for your successful surgery and your swift recovery.
I promised God that I would love you every day without hesitation.
Your courage inspires me. Your strength protects me.
Watching over you, I know that I have been blessed.
You are truly, the love of my life.

Wall Gardens

Gardens hanging on the sides of buildings,
How magical and wonderful.
I marvel at the beauty of the gardens
that I have shared with my lovely wife.
I want to travel the world with my wife
experiencing the most beautiful wonders
of the world.

The Family We Know

"We do not choose our family".
However, as adults we choose the family we know.
The family we know are always those who choose to participate.
We love the fabric of our modern family.

Seven Months Ago

Seven months ago, I weighed 45 pounds more than I do now that I have embraced my lap band surgery of 01 August 2011.
Seven months ago, we visited the Griswolds in Beverly Hills and stayed at their new, beautiful home. Now John Griswold is living in a two bedroom apartment in Playa del Rey following Stefanie's request for a divorce.
Seven months ago, Sandro and Lavanga were entertaining Buddhist monks in their home and now Sandro is recovering from chemo/radiation for Stage One Throat Cancer with his new girlfriend.
Seven months ago, Darren and Victoria had their on-going issues and dramas that have escalated to Darren living in an apartment in Arlington Heights.
Seven months ago, Billy and Matt were begging us for a car to our repeated answers of "no" not until your grades both reach a cummulative average of 3.0. Now they share a 2009 Ford Mustang Coupe with cobalt blue paint and dual white racing strips. A mid-life crisis car if mine just a shag machine for teenagers.
Seven months ago, Wendell and Cynthia were our new friends, married with two boys, and suddenly they disclose their 20 year marriage has been more on the rocks than not and they decide to stop paying their mortgage and split.
Seven months ago, I stopped posting to my blog to prepare for Darci's double mastectomy and final BCRA surgery.
Seven months is a very long time.

Now, it is time to move forward in spite of the seven month hiatus ....